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Kiss the Boys
Year: 2006
Country: USA
Director: Greg Osborne
Starring: Bethany Marie Wilson, Kurt Sinclair
Synopsis: A plastic surgeon convicted of killing male escorts in Los Angeles recounts his crimes and the motivation behind them to an investigator. Hint: His zombie boyfriend made him do it.
Quick review: Who knew that a gay zombie movie could be this boring? Do not rent this film, unless you need help falling asleep. It's that bad. Sam is a successful plastic surgeon living in Los Angeles. He's got a wife and a 15-year-old boyfriend on the side. But when the boyfriend begins to dream of happily ever after if he can just get the wife to leave his doctor boyfriend, it ends up with him being dead. Years pass and then suddenly out of nowhere the teen boyfriend is back, looking very much like a zombie. He convinces Sam that they must kill, and whom better to kill than male escorts. So they hire the boys, drug the boys, tie the boys up, then cut off the boys limbs. The one thing missing, strangely enough considering the title, is no kissing the boys. Eventually Sam is caught and after his arrest, trial, conviction, appeals, he's a week away from being put to death. An investigator is hired to interview him and learn his secrets. One thing we learn is that Sam's first male prostitute victim is still alive. Think about that. Most death penalty appeals take years. And yet, Sam's first victim is still alive, locked in a cell at his house that apparently the FBI didn't search too thoroughly. He's had no food or water for years, but somehow he's alive. When they find him, is he skin and bones or does he look like he's been eating at McDonalds? Looks like too many Big Macs to me. Throw in a horrible wig, terrible acting, predictable soundtrack, there is really nothing here worth seeing.
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